Below is the podcast version of this article. It contains a lot more examples and laughs so if you have a few minutes, give it a listen.
It’s a Mind Game
Being a working mom feels like a juggling game (and it is!) but more than that, it’s actually a mind game.
When you feel guilty and burdened, you don’t have as much energy or enthusiasm to give to each of your many roles.
However, when you feel like you’re doing exactly what you should, you have a more vibrant, fresh energy that impacts everything you do.
Below are some common beliefs that most successful working Moms believe.
Belief #1: It’s good for your kids if you work
Successful working moms don’t feel guilty about working because they believe that their kids benefit from them working.
Here are some ways I believe my kids benefit:
- I’ve become a role model for my children. I love that my girls see that it’s possible for a woman to work outside the home and also be a GREAT Mom and employee. When they’re older, they’ll know that they can choose what works for them. What a gift!
- It gives me other things to focus on. It can be rough on kids if they’re the sole focus of your attention. Sometimes, I’m relieved to be at work since I’m worried about something going on with my kids. When I go to work and focus on my job, I get a break and a new perspective.
Do you see the mind-shift we’re working on? Instead of viewing your work as the worst thing possible you can do for your family, you shift it to see how it’s actually GOOD for your family.
Your reasons will be unique to you and your family. But if you see your work as beneficial to your family instead of detrimental, you’ll have a much easier time.
Belief #2: Your different roles give you a break
You always know a working mom at the office, since she’s excited it’s Monday.
Successful working moms see work as a break from their family and family as a break from their work.
When family life seems overwhelming (will the laundry NEVER end?) it can feel like a relief to go into the office and switch gears. I enjoy my “work” personality and I relish the opportunity to forget about the laundry and all the other things that are difficult about home life. At work, I feel efficient, organized, and I enjoy using my brain in a different way.
But work can also be stressful. So as the week progresses and the stress piles on, I look forward to enjoying my “Mom” role when I get home. In my Mom role, I feel loving, creative, and purposeful.
Having these dual roles helps me balance the stresses of both.
Most importantly, it makes me grateful for both roles so I can get a break from each. This helps me be a better Mom, better at my job, and happier!
Belief #3: Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s a necessity.
Successful working Moms know that self-care isn’t optional. It’s not selfish. It’s a necessity.
There’s no way you can keep doing your many roles and not take time to take care of yourself.
If you’re going to navigate this complicated road with poise and calm, there’s no question about it, you need self-care.
You need to eat healthy.
To have quiet time.
To be with your friends, your spouse.
There’s no getting around this.
To help remind you to do your self-care, I created a really fun downloadable for you. It’s a coloring bookmark (I thought a coloring page would be too big for a busy Mom to work on! LOL.)
Print this on some thicker cardstock, if you have it, and if you feel like it, you can color it in. (If you’re short on time, you can use a highlighter and it’ll go fast!). Have FUN and enjoy your self-care!
To download the free printable, click on it. If you need the password, register for the free resource library below and enjoy this printable and so many others!
Belief #4: Lose the Cape – Done is better than perfect
Successful working moms also lose the cape. They know that done is better than perfect.
The happiest and most content working moms I know don’t worry about perfection. This one is hard because we all want to do things right. It feels like the pressures are growing and growing each year.
But most successful working moms let go of perfection.
They’re kind to themselves if they make a mistake or forget something.
They don’t worry about the house looking perfectly clean, dinner being five-star, etc. They do their best and that’s good enough.
Belief #5: It’s good to delegate
This one is really hard, especially if you pride yourself on being efficient. Giving up control is hard. It’s also hard to admit that you can’t do it all.
The most zen working moms I know rely on their husband, house cleaners, prepared foods. They do not do it all. They get lots and lots of help.
I’m easing into delegating by using pick-up services. Target just started offering this service in my area.
I feel guilty having someone else pull all my stuff.
I know I’m the only one in the world who feels this way. This is why I have to ease into delegation.
If you have a hard time with delegation like me, find a way to get your toe wet. Ask your husband to do something easy. Do a grocery service pick up. Keep easing into it using creative ways. Even the smallest things you delegate will help. There’s nothing too small that someone else can do for you.
Belief #6: Forget about what others think
I’m ending with a bang because this is a biggie.
Worry about fitting is perfectly normal. We all want to be liked and respected.
But so often we live our lives for others. We do what everyone else does so we’ll be accepted.
Unfortunately, sometimes things that everyone else is doing may not work for you or for your family. For example, in my family we don’t do after school activities. My kids go to a private school and the day is long enough.
Most other families enjoy outside activities, but these don’t work for us.
Sometimes I like to envision how difficult my life would be if I cared what others think. We’d be signed up for every activity under the sun. My kids would be exhausted. I’d be cranky. It would be horrible for our family.
Here’s a tip if this is something that challenges you:
Compare yourself to yourself.
In our Facebook group, I posted a quote:
“The only person I need to compare myself to is my Yesterday self.” — Allison Sue
This changes everything for me because it makes me feel so proud of myself.
If life was crazy because of too much after school activities and I compare life to no afterschool activity, I feel so great, I can’t help but not care what others think.
Compare you to you and you’ll stop caring what others think. And you’ll build some self-confidence, too!
It’s all in your Attitude
Wishing you so much success with your life as a working Mom. Know that your attitude is EVERYTHING!! If your attitude is working FOR you, life will be so much more enjoyable. It’ll have flow, joy, peace, all the good things. Best of all, life will be so much easier and happier.
Yes!!! I LOVE this article! I believe this to be absolutely true! Why feel guilty for wanting a break or working to support your kids?