If you’ve given up on learning how to be the best parent for your kids because all the books and advice you’ve read doesn’t work, don’t give up! There are great resources out there. Follow my journey below and see that sometimes you need to go through a lot of weeds till you get to the perfect resource for you. It’s out there. Don’t give up.

Before your first baby was born, did you ever think that your sweet little newborn would be the best (and hardest!) teacher you ever had? That each day would be a learning experience, making you wiser, more patient, and able to handle any situation life throws at you?

As you master each stage, you may get more confident in your parenting skills and think “now I’ve got it!”

But then it happens. Just as you master something, your child hits a new stage overnight and suddenly you don’t know what you’re doing anymore. It’s so frustrating! You feel like you’ll never learn how to be the best parent for your kids.

Getting Help

If you’re like me, you’ve tried to find resources to help you navigate the parenthood road.

You’ve read what feels like a million books, articles, podcasts, and asked your friends for advice.

I don’t know if this worked for you, but it failed miserably for me.

First, every time I read a parenting book, I felt inadequate (okay. that’s putting it mildly. I actually felt like the worst mother in the world.) The books and articles I was reading were full of strong opinions about the “right” way of doing things. If you deviated even slightly, you would ruin your children forever. Ugh. I did not need to add this to my already shaky feelings about my parenting.

Podcasts and advice from my friends didn’t work, either. I tended to either feel judged or inadequate.

I got so frustrated that for a few years, I stopped reading any book or article on parenting because they left me feeling like a bad mother. Since the advice in the books didn’t work anyway, what was the point?

We all Need Help

Parenting is too hard to figure out on your own.

Unless you’re lucky enough to have amazing parents and other role models who lead you down the road, you will need some help.

The common advice that “it just comes naturally” is full of #$%*. For most of us, parenting skills do not come naturally. If they do, it’s often because they’ve been modeled for you.

For the rest of us, we’re just trying to figure things out moment by moment. What we think is “natural” parenting is actually messages we’ve gotten from our culture on what good parenting should be. However, these messages may not the best the for your family….just sayin’.

Better Resources

A few years ago I decided not to give up on getting help. I believed there had to be some helpful resources that would build me up as a parent instead of knocking me down.

I started the search at the library, in the audiobooks collection. I listened to all kinds of parenting books on my way to work.

Most of the books were horrible. Those I stopped listening to right away.

But I just kept trying different ones. It wasn’t costing me any money (luckily!), and even the ones I disagreed with, there were parts where I learned something.

This time, I did things a bit differently. I decided that no matter what I heard, I would not get personally offended. Instead, I would listen to the book but if it didn’t resonate, I would simply try another.

Eventually, much to my shock, I found some good books and resources that fit my personality and beliefs.

Don’t Give Up

If you’re in the same boat as me, don’t give up! There are good resources available, they’re just hard to find.

You are a unique person and your parenting style needs to reflect you and fit into your life.

Your kids are incredibly unique. You may have a highly sensitive child or another unique type of child who needs to be parented much differently than the cultural norm.

We’re lucky to live in an age that has so much information. The challenge is that sometimes there’s TOO MUCH information so the good gets drowned out.

I urge you that if you feel this way, keep searching! If you try a resource and it isn’t a good fit, don’t give up on your search. Keep going! Parenting is too hard to do on your own. You need resources and advice from others to do the best job for you and your family.

Resources to Recommend

I know you’re anxious to hear what books worked for me! The two books below worked amazingly well for my family.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children by Thomas Gordon

I felt these books were similar and that the content complemented each other. Both books stressed empathetic listening, which resonated with my family.

The books also discussed using win-win solutions. In a win-win solution, both the parent AND the child are satisfied with a solution. This concept was new to me but once I started implementing it, our household became more peaceful, conflicts were resolved quickly, and everyone seemed happier.

Another resource I found extremely helpful was the

Mindful Mama podcast by Hunter Clark-Fields.

Hunter is highly knowledgeable about both parenting and mindfulness. Her podcast is the best I’ve ever heard. You’ll develop parenting skills that really work – for you and for your child! I also took her Mindful Mama course and benefited greatly from it.

The More You Learn, the Easier Life Will Be

I hope sharing my journey has inspired you to keep learning! The more you learn and grow, the easier life will be. You don’t have to struggle to learn everything on your own anymore. Others have gone through your same struggles and can help. Learn from their journey and let it help ease your way.

Wishing you lots of joy as you continue to learn and grow every day. I wish you lots of successes, big and small, in your parenthood journey.