Ever felt down on yourself? Some days do you feel like you’re the worst Mom ever? This episode is a confidence boost. It’ll show you how to feel amazing about yourself as a Mom, even if you’ve had more than your fair share of #momfails. Warning: this episode may make you blush.
So Much Doubt
If there’s one thing all Moms have in common, it’s that we doubt ourselves.
Most of us have no idea how hard it is to be a parent. Then our first child arrives and if you’re like lots of parents, you’re in shock.
How can this one little baby be so difficult to take care of?
They look so cute when we see our friends with their kids.
But when a human being becomes our responsibility, wow. It’s more work and more emotional labor than we ever could have dreamed possible.
There are Lots of Opportunities to Doubt Yourself
So many Moms doubt themselves. Parenting is harder than they ever thought possible and they think they’re doing it wrong.
I know I’ve thought a million times that I’m the worst Mom that ever was.
The other day my kid went into her closet and didn’t have enough clothes that fit her.
Yup, out came my very un-useful mantra, “I’m the worst Mom that ever was. What Mom forgets to buy her kids clothes? I’m sure I’m the only Mom in the whole world who ever does this.”
If I’m not careful, this mantra will keep coming up. And the problem with that is we all like to prove ourselves true.
So if I keep telling myself that “I’m the worst Mom that ever was,” I’ll keep finding ways that I am.
BUT, if I tell myself something helpful, like perhaps “I”m doing a great job as a Mom” then you guessed it, I’ll find more ways I’m doing a great job.
And the best part is, when I keep doing this and have healthy thoughts in my head instead of unhelpful ones, I’ll keep doing more things that make me proud of myself as a Mom.
For example, when I realized my kids don’t have enough clothes to wear, yesterday I asked them to go online and find some clothes.
One of my daughters actually did this, I’ve got a few cute, reasonably priced items in my shopping cart and at least for one kid, the problem is solved. I’ll place the order and bingo, through the magic of internet shopping she’ll have what she needs.
The other kid refused but I’m still amazing. I gave her the opportunity.
And when I tell myself “I’m an amazing Mom” I remind myself that if she doesn’t take me up on this opportunity, she’s learned a valuable life lesson. And next time (maybe!) she’ll do what I ask.
See how that builds up my confidence instead of tearing it away?
My goal in this episode is for you to remind yourself daily that you’re doing an amazing job.
Because not only will it make this come true and you’ll actually be doing an amazing job, but you’ll also feel happier.
Prove it to yourself
Let’s prove to yourself, right now, that you’re doing an amazing job.
I want you to think of something you did in the last 24 hours that you’re proud of.
What’s something you did, or didn’t do, that worked out really well.
✨ Maybe you didn’t yell when your kid was running around the house acting crazy.
✨ Maybe you took your child to the park and your child had a fun time and got out all her pent-up energy
✨ Maybe you did a date night with your partner and felt closer to him or her
✨ What about laundry? Maybe you did a load and actually put it away so your family had fresh socks to wear
I know without a doubt that you did something (I’m sure actually many things) in the past 24 hours that you can be proud of yourself for.
What Was it About You that Made You Act This Way?
Next, I want you to think, what was it about YOU that made you act or do this thing?
Let’s take not yelling.
What was it about you that kept you from yelling?
Maybe you’re working on becoming a calmer Mom and you succeeded yesterday. Hooray!!
Or maybe you did the laundry and the thing about YOU that made you do this is that you’re becoming a more organized Mom.
I want you to label yourself in a good way.
💎 I’m calm.
💎 I’m organized.
💎 I’m proactive.
Go ahead and give yourself some really positive labels.
Because the next time your kids will be even crazier. Maybe they’ll do something nuts like get slime all over the couch.
And you’ll remember, wait, I’m a calm Mom and you’ll stay chill, and maybe they’ll clean up the slime somehow, and you’ll feel great about yourself.
Tips for Proving to Yourself That You’re An Amazing Mom
I have some tips for you to prove to yourself that you’re an amazing Mom.
Tip #1: Be Specific
The first thing I recommend is that you find a very specific event.
I learned this years ago with my kids. If I tell them they’re amazing, they don’t believe me. I find it actually makes things worse because it feels fake.
I don’t want you to feel fake about feeling amazing.
But I find that when I point out something they’ve done well and THEN I point out to them what a great job they’re doing, that really resonates.
Same with you.
You’ll want to find a specific example and then think — wow, I really did that well.
Being as specific as possible will make all the difference.
Tip #2: Add and “AnD”
Remember that not-so-helpful thought I had ringing around my head that comes up all the time, that I’m the worst Mom that ever was?
I suspect you may have your own version of this.
When this comes up, try adding an “and” onto the end of it.
For example, “I’m the worst Mom that ever was….and I know that’s not true.” Or “I’m the worst Mom that ever was….and I’m doing better every day.”
Tip #3: Create a new thought
My final tip is to create a new thought for yourself. One that you create on purpose.
It can look like “I’m doing an amazing job.” Or “I’m a great Mom.”
As long as you believe it. Don’t create something that’s so far out there, it feels fake. We don’t like fake in this community. Fake is for nails, not for Moms.
You REALLY Are!
I want to tell you from my heart that you really are doing an amazing job.
How do I know?
Because if you didn’t care about being a great Mom, you would not be listening to this podcast or reading these show notes.
Just by listening you’re showing me that you’re striving to learn. To get better. To improve.
And let me tell you, you and I may not be perfect, but I can tell you that only amazing Moms work on improving themselves.
You. Are. Amazing.
Remember that. You really are. I’m sending you hugs and wishes that you’ll remember how awesome you really are.
I’ll leave you with this thought:
If you knew how awesome you actually are, how would that change your life?
With so much love,